Past Haunts The Future

Devastated from Pittsburgh writes;

Hey Leek and Trice,

I am 22 years old and I have been with my boyfriend for about 6 months now and I love him a lot. All of a sudden he breaks up with me because of a sexual partner from my past (they know each other but it is more of a hey wassup type of relationship, like associates)! I have been completely faithful. I am very upset because I don't understand why would he hold that as a reason to break up with me. Now 3 months later after he broke up with me he wants to make up but he refuses to admit that he was wrong.. What do you think I should do!?

Malik Response:
My honest opinion he was hurt and don't know how to control his emotions. Men have pride issues and due to the fact that he know the guy maybe its bothering him. Once y'all separated that gave him time to think about everything. For him to reach back out he must love you and trust you cause I might of walked away. I think y'all should try to work it out. Ya ll need to talk and you explain how you feel about being abandon and hurt and let him explain his side. I wish y'all the best of luck and feel free to reach out if u need anymore advice


Patrice Response:
Dear Devastated,
Has it ever occurred to you that perhaps this young man has some issues of his own. Think about it, if the two of them were just associates and had nothing else in common perhaps being the man that he is, he let his pride get the best of him, and in doing so he probably See's nothing wrong with it, or has no explanation as to why he did what he did. To admit he was wrong would mean for him to 1st accept it in himself that he did something wrong, not a lot of people can admit fault, jealousy or when pride over rules their judgement.

If you need to hear him admit he was wrong in order to go fwd with the relationship and you see he isn't budging, I think you know exactly what you should do; if this admission of fault will offer you some sort of closure and allow you to move on, and you are not receiving it, then you either have to come to grips with the fact that he is unwilling to apologize and take notice of his faults, or you can deal with it, but know this!, You teach ppl how to treat you, if you allow for him to not at least talk about it with you, this will set the precedent for the future of the relationship when issues arise where he may be wrong but unwilling to admit it. hopefully the two of you have a strong enough relationship where you can resolve this issue through a nice decent talk/discussion...this means NO ARGUING!