MAHOGANY SPEAKING: I mean its been 21 years and I've lived this long RIGHT?! I mean and God already has a plan for my life so when i go is when I go? RIGHT? I am blessed so i know he got my back with a little slack(cheesecake, confetti waffles, cheese, and the golden arch fries)? SHESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSH
CONTEMPLATING TURNING BACK! Standing sides ways in the mirror I look at myself and say WTH. I love me so everyone else has no choice! LOL!
THEN BATITI HURU starts roaring her holistic wanna be healthy and live longer head and the CLEANSE BEGINS....
I awake around 12 pm YES YEA SAY WHAT YOU WANT THE SCORCHING SUN IS TO BLAME! 94 DEGREES!!! i could hardly inhale
(THE FUNKY TRUTH)
It was honestly too hot to be drinking some hot water and lemon so i skipped that part! I cleaned a chicken breast steamed it to perfection (Im becoming a expert holla at me for the mahogany style steam dream..POW)
I filled my plate with some spring mix and spinach, tomatoes, and added the cooked chicken with i seasoned with parsley and salt and pepper!
6pm- My stomach is loudly speaking and Ive just went into deep contemplation about the effects of this diet and my half assed routine and decided i might need to tweek it!
I called up one of my elders Alonzo Djihuti Hodge who i would call an expert in this field.! HE gave me some EXCELLENT advice and guidance on some habits and eating choices i could and should make.
AND THIS IS WHERE I LEARNED THAT TILAPIA ISN'T GOOD FOR YOU!!! POW SHOTS FIRED! I MADE MY MOTHER BY SOME BECAUSE I THOUGHT IT WOULD DO THE DEED!!!
******* RESEARCH EXACTLY WHAT YOUR PUTTING INTO YOUR BODY******!!!! SO ON THE LAPTOP I GO!!! RESEARCH WHAT WOULD BE SUITABLE FOR INTAKE DURING A CLEANSE!
Thursday, June 9, 2011
Day 3: A Lil' Late & Egg Whites Isn't What I ATE!
I refuse to rip my lips apart for the WHITE OVAL! (I secretly call the spawn of satan)Its been three long days and i must admit Im giving myself more credit than I deserve LOL. Let's begin with how I've completely stopped eating those disgusting egg whites and as you might conclude I HATE THEM!.. There purposeless and i curse the very chickens that thought it a deed to lays these eggs! Here I am again off on a rampage.
Not only have I cut all connections with the spawn of satan but I haven't fulfilled my commitment with the 80oz of water!!!! NOW before everyone reads this I want each one of you to STHU!and try to drink that amount of water in 6 hours. Yes 6 because those are the amount of hours left after I remember that I haven't reached the goal of water drinking.!!
BEFORE JUMPING HEAD FIRST INTO THE POLAND SPRING BOTTLE> I BEND MY HEAD IN PRAY: GOD PUHLESSSSS DONT LET ME DROWN!! and Although this might be comic relief for the skinny people and blog readers! It's the day in the life of QUEEN BATITI HURU &this NO NAME CLEANSER!..THANKS TO ASIAN JACKEE!
BACK TO REGULAR PROGRAMMING..
I drank my hot cup of water and lemon.. and went with my mother to the grocery store (for those of you who knows my mother, you know we were in the store for hours) With my bones nearly showing i manage to run home and chef up a steamed piece of fish which im inclined to let my readers know was a bad choice (TILAPIA). With steams broccoli, red peppers, and some miscellaneous veggies I found in the refrigerator.
I left out with a my hefty snack pack of almonds no salt and raisins. This is the completion of my meals ! NOT HEALTHY! but HEY THE TRUTH IS THE TRUTH!
UNTIL NEXT TIME!
DAY 4
Not only have I cut all connections with the spawn of satan but I haven't fulfilled my commitment with the 80oz of water!!!! NOW before everyone reads this I want each one of you to STHU!and try to drink that amount of water in 6 hours. Yes 6 because those are the amount of hours left after I remember that I haven't reached the goal of water drinking.!!
BEFORE JUMPING HEAD FIRST INTO THE POLAND SPRING BOTTLE> I BEND MY HEAD IN PRAY: GOD PUHLESSSSS DONT LET ME DROWN!! and Although this might be comic relief for the skinny people and blog readers! It's the day in the life of QUEEN BATITI HURU &this NO NAME CLEANSER!..THANKS TO ASIAN JACKEE!
BACK TO REGULAR PROGRAMMING..
I drank my hot cup of water and lemon.. and went with my mother to the grocery store (for those of you who knows my mother, you know we were in the store for hours) With my bones nearly showing i manage to run home and chef up a steamed piece of fish which im inclined to let my readers know was a bad choice (TILAPIA). With steams broccoli, red peppers, and some miscellaneous veggies I found in the refrigerator.
I left out with a my hefty snack pack of almonds no salt and raisins. This is the completion of my meals ! NOT HEALTHY! but HEY THE TRUTH IS THE TRUTH!
UNTIL NEXT TIME!
DAY 4
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
Day 2 Tha Egg White Blues
I can vividly hear the ole' negro hymn, "its been a long timeee cominnnnnnnnnnn' and I'm and I'm glad, SO GLAD ABOUT IT"!!I feel like im stuck in church 9 years old and all my other friends are out at a birthday party. See the bigger picture of hearing god's words and my soul being saved had no meaning to the facts that i would be dancing running and playing with my friends! and at 12:44am. Im twinkling my thumps sadly humming the old nigger hymn because the bigger picture (healthy, weight loss) is clearly some times away and i'd rather be clogging my arteries with a fillet o fish with 2 slices of cheese, medium fry small sprint no ice from the golden arch!
BACK TO REGULAR PROGRAMMING:
9:20 am i was alive and kicking, boiled by pot of water with a half sliced lemon gulped it down and proceeded to the powder room (FANCY HUH)
Grabbed my half eaten package of almonds and left for my orientation at Waldbaums POW FINALLY LANDED A GIG!
11:30 am I found my self sampling a coconut decaf frap although small i craved for the clusters of small coconut sprinkles and whipped cream! PRAISE JAH i quickly returned to my senses as the register man asked for 3.20 because i had order a small vanilla bean frap from Starbucks (obvious to see my life has again taken a left turn)
1:30pm quickly approaches and my tummy starts to growl, i walk to the seven eleven because i remembered that last night they sold me some bad fruit in hot pursuit of justice i slip on my sandals and proceed! as i enter the store my mother wobbling behind me LOL! i cautiously attack calm but aggressive demanding that they check dates on their fruit because i could have been hospitalized! After the dramatics i grab a fresh bag of sliced apples with a convenient personal peanut butter (which i thought was a healthy option that was quickly shut down)
After i savagely devoured the apples i texted my nutritionalist jackee (asian)to see if i should have eat the pnbutter she advised that i should not but it was too late and it felt.tasted to good to be sorry.!
around 4pm i ate a spring mixed salad with cranberries and lite vinegar who knows if that should have been on it but o well!
................And by 9:30pm i had cheffed up some chicken broth 1 chicken breast sliced coming up to a boil and steamed some broccoli. mixed it and POW DINNER!
Hear it is 12:58 am and I've only eaten 6 cranberries! This is DAY 2 of Egg Whites and Hungry Nights!
BACK TO REGULAR PROGRAMMING:
9:20 am i was alive and kicking, boiled by pot of water with a half sliced lemon gulped it down and proceeded to the powder room (FANCY HUH)
Grabbed my half eaten package of almonds and left for my orientation at Waldbaums POW FINALLY LANDED A GIG!
11:30 am I found my self sampling a coconut decaf frap although small i craved for the clusters of small coconut sprinkles and whipped cream! PRAISE JAH i quickly returned to my senses as the register man asked for 3.20 because i had order a small vanilla bean frap from Starbucks (obvious to see my life has again taken a left turn)
1:30pm quickly approaches and my tummy starts to growl, i walk to the seven eleven because i remembered that last night they sold me some bad fruit in hot pursuit of justice i slip on my sandals and proceed! as i enter the store my mother wobbling behind me LOL! i cautiously attack calm but aggressive demanding that they check dates on their fruit because i could have been hospitalized! After the dramatics i grab a fresh bag of sliced apples with a convenient personal peanut butter (which i thought was a healthy option that was quickly shut down)
After i savagely devoured the apples i texted my nutritionalist jackee (asian)to see if i should have eat the pnbutter she advised that i should not but it was too late and it felt.tasted to good to be sorry.!
around 4pm i ate a spring mixed salad with cranberries and lite vinegar who knows if that should have been on it but o well!
................And by 9:30pm i had cheffed up some chicken broth 1 chicken breast sliced coming up to a boil and steamed some broccoli. mixed it and POW DINNER!
Hear it is 12:58 am and I've only eaten 6 cranberries! This is DAY 2 of Egg Whites and Hungry Nights!
Monday, June 6, 2011
Cleansing Day 1: Egg Whites and Hungry Nights
Yes the title may be very catchy..... but once the reality that the arrogant NYC pigeon is munching harder than I frustration builds and i could open hand smack myself for committing to such fuckery.! Okay enough rambling!
6.6.2011- 3:43 am- i pile my plate full of baked macaroni and cheese juicy baked chicken(breast), spicy seasoned cabbage, blueberry cornbread all the happy tidings that my mother put her foot into early Sunday night. My mouth watered and my ALREADY full stomach screamed for one last meal. Just as quickly as the microwave bell rang i was stuffing my face, mid chew my stomach could take no more and sat upset that aching limbs would have the nerve to interrupt my LAST SUPPER!!!! I discarded my plate and laid to rest for my planned early morning
7:48 am To noones surprise i was curled into my bed not wanting to move and my stomach bloated because i foolishly made the choice to eat at such midnight hours. My phones ringing and its my diet companion Shameeka complaining that she'll be quitting the cleansing, she yelled that squirrels have a better variety. I chuckled turned on my side and glared at the time and this happy conversation sharply turned left as i pressed the end button far too early to converse about the hell i'd soon be living in.
10:45 am approaches and i remember that water bug(conveniently known to some at Thelica or JUNIE to most)was in it for the kill and I had to approach the telephone with cautious because she was "well versed" (bitchy) in the morning but as the Phone rung we begin to discuss the proper foods and plans for attack on day one. Skipping straight to the main point around 12:45 i receive a phone call from ms Junie in a whimpering voice( causing a sudden and major depression i might add ) complaining that due to extenuating circumstances should would have to halt the cleanse and continue on a later date. I chuckled at her dramatics.
It was now 5pm and I still wasn't hungry but I knew I'd have to eat Soo..I boiled a pot of hot water with a half sliced lemon in it (drank it all) I refilled the pot with six eggs to boil hard, and begin my biweekly verbal riot on twitter only to choked on smokes clouds.. Could you believe I had burned HARD BOILED EGGS!
Anyway, I sliced the egg whites over some spring mix and cranberries. and devoured! LOL! DISGUSTING!!! IT WAS Horrible I mean im not being dramatic NEVER MIX CRANBERRIES WITH EGG WHITES! So here it is 9:13pm chatting with Sankofa and Im weighing whether or not i should continue eating something dead, and how death would attribute to my living temple? It's a hard reality but someone has got to face it.! Tonight I plan on consuming 1 chicken breast in broth with vegetables!....
Stay Tuned!!!!!!Day 2
6.6.2011- 3:43 am- i pile my plate full of baked macaroni and cheese juicy baked chicken(breast), spicy seasoned cabbage, blueberry cornbread all the happy tidings that my mother put her foot into early Sunday night. My mouth watered and my ALREADY full stomach screamed for one last meal. Just as quickly as the microwave bell rang i was stuffing my face, mid chew my stomach could take no more and sat upset that aching limbs would have the nerve to interrupt my LAST SUPPER!!!! I discarded my plate and laid to rest for my planned early morning
7:48 am To noones surprise i was curled into my bed not wanting to move and my stomach bloated because i foolishly made the choice to eat at such midnight hours. My phones ringing and its my diet companion Shameeka complaining that she'll be quitting the cleansing, she yelled that squirrels have a better variety. I chuckled turned on my side and glared at the time and this happy conversation sharply turned left as i pressed the end button far too early to converse about the hell i'd soon be living in.
10:45 am approaches and i remember that water bug(conveniently known to some at Thelica or JUNIE to most)was in it for the kill and I had to approach the telephone with cautious because she was "well versed" (bitchy) in the morning but as the Phone rung we begin to discuss the proper foods and plans for attack on day one. Skipping straight to the main point around 12:45 i receive a phone call from ms Junie in a whimpering voice( causing a sudden and major depression i might add ) complaining that due to extenuating circumstances should would have to halt the cleanse and continue on a later date. I chuckled at her dramatics.
It was now 5pm and I still wasn't hungry but I knew I'd have to eat Soo..I boiled a pot of hot water with a half sliced lemon in it (drank it all) I refilled the pot with six eggs to boil hard, and begin my biweekly verbal riot on twitter only to choked on smokes clouds.. Could you believe I had burned HARD BOILED EGGS!
Anyway, I sliced the egg whites over some spring mix and cranberries. and devoured! LOL! DISGUSTING!!! IT WAS Horrible I mean im not being dramatic NEVER MIX CRANBERRIES WITH EGG WHITES! So here it is 9:13pm chatting with Sankofa and Im weighing whether or not i should continue eating something dead, and how death would attribute to my living temple? It's a hard reality but someone has got to face it.! Tonight I plan on consuming 1 chicken breast in broth with vegetables!....
Stay Tuned!!!!!!Day 2
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