Dignified or Sassy, Women have always had something important to say....

.....with a little bullshit on the side.
















Thursday, May 26, 2011

Writing Circle: Letter To Myself (Reflection)

DEAR MALIK

THE PURPOSE OF THIS LETTER IS NOT TO BELITTLE YOU OR BRING YOU DOWN ITS TO HELP YOU SEE THINGS FROM A DIFFERENT POINT OF VIEW HOPEFULLY BY TIME YOU READ THIS YOU WILL HAVE A BETTER UNDERSTANDING OF YOURSELF. WE AS PEOPLE KNOW OURSELVES THE BEST BUT SOMETIMES ITS BEST TO BE ON THE OUTSIDE LOOKING IN.... 


As I sit here and analyze how you move and react to certain situations I notice certain things about you. First of and foremost I want to say I am aware of the progress and growth but you still need some work done. The reason I stated this is cause at times you allow your emotions to control your intelligent. You seem to have this I don't care attitude and that will hinder what ever you have going on or what ever you are trying to accomplish. MALIK things will not go always as planed so you have to work on becoming more patience. When things don't go your way you get upset or shut down. You always can't want instants results things take time. Also you try to take on more than one task at a time when you should try to take things one step at a time. Another thing I noticed is that you become motivated but lose interest real fast maybe it because things become overwhelming or maybe you are scared to succeed when you start to see progress. Only you know the answer and I would love to hear your thoughts on this particular assumption I made.  Like I mention earlier this is just my views on you I can be wrong. I am aware that at times you completely shut down and start to fall back from people so I'm assuming you been hurt in the pass i don't know by who and how it effected you but its two options that you can take cause if you don't address the issues you will never grow completely so my suggestions are either you move on and let the pass be the pass or you confront that person or people and address them on the issue.  You are very loyal and its nothing wrong with that but let me give you some advise  loyalty is similar to love they both can blind you and when a person is love struck you don't see things clear and you will make certain choices that seems good at the moment but in the long run when its all over you will understand that them choices you made was only good for the other person and not yourself. One thing that's stands  out to me is that you are confident and have some good ideas you seem like you know what you be talking about but what's the point of having an idea and not doing nothing with it. I would like to see more action and less talking.

By. Malik S

Writing Circle: Acceptance...

I haven't been writing in my journal ever since I took a hiatus from the Sugar Water blog. 
However, the writing circle is back and ready more than ever. 
Besides the fact that a co-blogger wanted to share a writing sample 
I had an insightful conversation with my younger sister today that inspired me for this topic. 
The topic I would like my fellow Sugar Water readers to write on is  
"Acceptance; The when, how, and why...". 
Through out my trial and tribulations I have realized that life is all about Acceptance. 
You will go mad and depressed trying to change someone of something you have no control over.  
So readers what is it/or who is it in your life that you cant come to terms with? How long have you been battling this issue? How has it taken a toll on you (spirit, body, mind) or affected your life and why is it important for you to let go? What are some steps you can take to let go? and why can't you let go? .... remember God grants you the wisdom to accept the things you can not change (something like that lol)

*remember these questions are just suggestions and to help guide you when writing. you don't have to answer all of them or follow a specific format. let it flooooowwww,

Stay Sweet

Reason 456,788,990,898... Why I hate MTA

There's just some stuff you don't do on the train. and a jam pack/elbow to elbow/ rush hour. 86 degree day train AT THAT! While riding the train to work today and waiting four stops before I am able to get a seat. Looking aimlessly I see a Hispanic couple making out. I have to mention that they are Hispanic because if you are from NYC like I am then you know that they love public display of affection (this maybe a stereotype but who cares) So here you have a girl and a boy, young enough to not care but old enough to know the better, just a kissing away. awwwww that's cute. but then Mamacita starts to put her hands in this man pants. Nibble on his ear. I turn a way like. WHOA WTF! this is a train. there are children on this. Fuck that! I'm on this. I didn't sign up for no afternoon porno. What's going on. She just kept caressing, and a 'jerking'. I was soo disgusted. She thought she was low. but I def peeped it. Ohhh how I wish that fat grease ball next to me would scoot over so I can take out my novel and read it. But what took the cake was eventually she stopped. When I looked towards the door (that's where they were positioned) I see that she is grabbing the pole with the same hand she fondled her man with!!!!! YESSSSSSSSS. this herpes filled penis dick beaters is holding the pole. That most of us use to balance ourselves on the train. or lean against. or touch when exiting the train. GROOOOOSSSSS! I shooked my head in disbelief. Like man am I really payin $2.50 to ride the train and contact Herpes? am I really giving up weekend drinks with my home girls to buy a 100 dollar plus metrocard to touch dick sweat? I was glad that I noticed this and I could touch another pole. But then I thought what about the ones I don't know about?
hmmmmmm.... HONESTLY!! what about the nose pickers, the coochie scratchers and dick adjusters? the ear wax flingers? paranoid? NO! precautions? YES! for got sake I do bite my nails....(after today I am def stopping!). let's just say I currently plan on walking a whole lot in the next few months. So finally at my destination. I decide to throw this disgusting couple a dirty look for their dirty acts. and I peeped that Papi had Two Crosses hanging from his bag. hmmm..... catholic? christian (protestant/baptist)? hmmmm I don't know! but it was a damn sure good day to be Muslim.

Stay Sweet and Away from poles....

Monday, May 23, 2011

Tipping and When Did It Become Expected?

I have burned a lot of bridges arguing with people on the topic of Tipping. Last summer I went on a camping trip and started a Tipping debate; in a nut shell we all ending the trip two days earlier. My freshmen year of college a male friend of mine gave me and my room mate a lift to the local supermarket. Some how and someone brought up the topic of Tipping. He was a waiter at Applebee’s and I spoke from a customer’s point of view. (SIIIGGHH) he became upset. He dropped us off and after 10 minutes of cashing my money order we realized he left us a mile away from school in the supermarket parking lot. 30 minutes later he returned. I guess speaking about tipping can be correlated to the topic of politics.


As a child I remember how tips were made. I remember clearly that Tips were given to people who went above and beyond their job requirements. Who gave you impeccable service, were knowledgeable and helpful. There weren’t any set price on how much you could tip someone. We didn’t sit around a table with a Tip calculator making sure we tipped them what they wanted. Consumers/customers had the choice to tip what we felt they deserved but mainly what we could afford. Sometimes my grandmother and I would go to the beauty parlor. Once the beautician was done my grandmother would sit in the mirror admiring her dazzling new do. Touching her tresses which were softer than normal because Magdalena , (the beautician), used an extra conditioner at no charge. She admired her full bouncing curls because Magdalena used extra precision when blowing out her hair. The mirror my grandmother looked into was bordered with pictures. A picture of me and my younger sister hung in the left corner. Magdalena told my grandmother in her heavy Spanish accent "Jean! wear a silk scarf to bed and get a deep conditioner every two weeks." Magdalena deserved a Tip. I remember going through my pre-teen spats with my mother packing my things and preparing to move out. Dragging suit cases full of clothes into the rain, my mother refused to help. The cab driver sensed me struggling/unhappiness. He met me half way and placed the bags in to his trunk. On the ride to my father house the cab driver tried to explain life to me; he tried to cheer me up (he mentioned he had a young daughter as well). He deserved a tip. I think back to 3 ½ years ago on my 1st date with my 1st love at Red Lobster. Our waitress made periodic checks on us. She wouldn't let the biscuits get lower than 2 before refilling, she would see our glass 1/3 empty and would come to refill it. She smiled; seem excited and happy. She wasn’t over bearing. Me and my love was both in awe. Until this day we speak about her. She deserved a tip. But when did a tip become mandatory?  When did you tip people for simply doing their job; and sometimes not even doing that?

When did it become an American custom to pay someone extra, something that for so long has been done out of gratitude, for fulfilling their job description? How can you stamp the word ‘gratuity’ on a receipt? How do businesses get away with assuming I have any gratitude towards the service I just received? With the addition of "gratuity" have Americans realized how businesses are making us pay their under waged staff salaries? Not only do I have to pay for my meal, my drink, and taxes that are included. I also have to pay a 15% tip included. What if I don't have 15 percent? Should I not be allowed to eat? To go get my hair done? My nails did? Because it is pre-determined that you deserve a tip. In High School my teacher, who I loved dearly, explained to the class that for many years before teaching she was a waitress and a bartender. She said that Blacks, Young teenagers, and Police Officer’s were considered bad tippers. No one wanted to serve them and if they did it was usually with resentment. But what is a bad tipper? If you feel that you are worth more than a 2 dollar tip than why not feel that you are worth more than a 5 dollar an hour wage? Why can’t people tip you what they can afford? Are young teenager’s terrible tippers? Or is it that they simply are dining out on their parent’s income? It became an issue when I realized I was adding tips into my budget. 13 dollar drinks shoot up to 14/15 when adding tips. 40 dollar weekly salon visits shoots up to 45 dollars including tips. 8 dollar eye brow waxing shoots up to 9 dollar when adding tips. 26 dollar weekly manicure and pedicure shoots up to 30 dollars when adding tips. This is an issue to me because sometimes I leave the nail salon not completely satisfied or the beauty salon eager to get home to curl that back of my hair more to my liking, but I still tip. I knew shit was for the worst when I was in a yellow cab. I got in the cab and told this man where I was going. The windows was down  and it was scorching, where was the AC?. The man never spoke to me, He didn't change the music station. He just drove me to my destination. And than asked for a Tip. A Tip? why do you feel as if I should pay you more money for simply doing your job? Am I suppose to Tip a cab driver for driving me to my destination. is 10 dollars for 20 blocks simply not enough? I have a Tip for America , Pay your workers better wages and not pry on your customers. Don't pay a waitress 4 dollars an hour and then us costumers are considered "ain't shit" when we don't leave a Tip to their liking. Scratch this gratuity shit off my bill. sometime I want to go to UNOs for a pasta dish and may not have 15% to give anyone, I may have a dollar. What is so bad about me tipping someone a dollar when big businesses are paying them 6 dollars? I refused to give people my hard earn money for simply doing their job. especially when there job just simply rely on taking an order. Usually it is the bus boy bringing the food or cleaning the table. If anything he deserves the Tip. Do your job because this is what you have decided to do. do it with love. a Tip should be left up to the consumer. not mandatory. because there is no such thing as mandatory gratitude